Freaks Ahoy! Read online

  Also by Leigh Hobbs

  Books featuring Old Tom:

  Old Tom

  Old Tom at the Beach

  Old Tom Goes to Mars

  Old Tom’s Guide to Being Good

  Old Tom’s Holiday

  Old Tom Man of Mystery

  Books featuring Horrible Harriet:

  Horrible Harriet

  Hooray for Horrible Harriet

  Books featuring Fiona the Pig:

  Fiona the Pig

  Fiona the Pig’s Big Day

  Books featuring 4F:

  4F for Freaks

  To find out more visit

  www.leighhobbs.com

  FREAKS

  AHOY !

  Leigh HOBBS

  First published in 2007

  Copyright © Leigh Hobbs, 2007

  All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording or by any information storage and retrieval system, without prior permission in writing from the publisher. The Australian Copyright Act 1968 (the Act) allows a maximum of one chapter or 10 per cent of this book, whichever is the greater, to be photocopied by any educational institution for its educational purposes provided that the educational institution (or body that administers it) has given a remuneration notice to Copyright Agency Limited (CAL) under the Act.

  Allen & Unwin

  83 Alexander Street

  Crows Nest NSW 2065

  Australia

  Phone: (61 2) 8425 0100

  Fax: (61 2) 9906 2218

  Email: [email protected]

  Web: www.allenandunwin.com

  National Library of Australia

  Cataloguing-in-Publication entry:

  Hobbs, Leigh.

  Freaks ahoy.

  For children.

  ISBN 9781741149838.

  1. School camps – Juvenile fiction. I. Title.

  A823.3

  Cover and text design by Leigh Hobbs and Sandra Nobes

  Set in 16 pt Bembo by Sandra Nobes

  Printed in Australia by McPherson’s Printing Group

  10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

  For my father Jack,

  who gave me pencils and paper

  Contents

  CHAPTER 1

  CHAPTER 2

  CHAPTER 3

  CHAPTER 4

  CHAPTER 5

  CHAPTER 6

  CHAPTER 1

  MISS SCHNORKEL'S

  SECRET

  One-eyed Eileen had been kept in after school. That’s how she found out her teacher’s secret. Scary Miss Schnorkel was really wimpy Miss Corker in disguise!

  One-Eyed Eileen couldn’t wait to tell her gang. It wasn’t going to be a secret for long.

  First to be told was Louisa the Teaser. She phoned Feral Beryl.

  Next to know was Not-so-nice Nora and Baby-doll Delia. They told Scary Mary.

  She phoned High-headed Harry and his brother Kirk... or was that Dirk?

  Dirk or Kirk informed Unfriendly Irwin. He spoke to Strange Sidney, who gave the gossip to Gretchen Smetchen and her pet parakeet Patricia.

  When she found out, Nearly-normal Nancy broke the news in person to Very-bad Betty.

  In no time at all, she’d told Terribly-tough Timmy.

  Best friends Surly Susan and Frowning Fran phoned Lovely Latitia, who blabbed to Baby-face Barry.

  And so, Miss Schnorkel’s secret was a secret no more.

  CHAPTER 2

  Miss Corker's

  Disappointment

  The head that wasn’t hers

  Miss Corker, meanwhile, was happy to be home. At last she could relax and be herself.

  Pretending to be scary wasn’t easy for someone as sweet as Miss Corker. But how else could she cope with the Freaks in 4F?

  However, Miss Corker’s happiness didn’t last.

  Her fake head was stuck and simply wouldn’t budge.

  Nothing, it seemed, would loosen it.

  A hot towel was useless, and jamming it in the door didn’t work at all.

  Miss Corker was getting desperate.

  It looked like she might be trapped in Miss Schnorkel’s head forever.

  That night she didn’t sleep a wink.

  Next morning Miss Corker decided to look on the bright side and make the most of her appearance.

  It was amazing! A little bow on top and some rouge made Miss Corker – er, Miss Schnorkel – feel like a new woman.

  Meanwhile, 4F were on their way to school already.

  By now EVERYONE knew Miss Schnorkel’s secret.

  ‘Miss Schnorkel must be unmasked!’ cried One-eyed Eileen at an emergency meeting inside Freak Headquarters.

  She knew control of 4F wouldn’t be hers again unless Miss Corker was exposed.

  Miss Schnorkel, however, had plans of her own.

  ‘Safety first,’ she said, handing out the life-vests.

  ‘4F, you’re in for a treat.’

  ‘We’re off to sea to learn some lessons.’

  CHAPTER 3

  A day

  away

  4F were heading into uncharted waters.

  It was amazing how many Freaks could fit in a boat.

  There was an early upset when new girl, Hungry Hannah, raided the picnic hamper and hogged the hamburgers.

  Always one to forgive and forget, Miss Schnorkel kept calm, and headed for a ship on the horizon.

  It was full of teachers on long-service leave.

  They were discussing their teaching experiences. For some the memories had come rushing back.

  For others, of course, the memories had never left.

  For all of them, a lifetime in schools had taken its toll.

  Most teachers though were keen to relax and forget about school. After all this was a peaceful, student-free zone.

  Suddenly a chilling cry pierced the crisp sea air.

  Students had been sighted.

  There was nowhere to run and no place to hide.

  4F were eager to explore new territory.

  Soon the deck was full of Freaks.

  But the teachers weren’t interested in meeting them.

  In fact some teachers cut short their holiday.

  CHAPTER 4

  FREAKS

  AMOK

  While 4F settled in, Miss Schnorkel headed for the lounge to plan their lessons for the day.

  But the sea air made her sleepy. She had a nap instead and dreamt about the day she first met 4F.

  While Miss Schnorkel slept, 4F went to work.

  One-eyed Eileen’s instructions were clear. Miss Schnorkel’s fake head had to be removed.

  First to try were Frowning Fran and Surly Susan.

  They swivelled, fumbled, fiddled and twisted, without success.

  Scary Mary fared no better. When it was Terribly Tough Timmy’s turn, he tried his secret tickling technique.

  And Troubled Trevor’s attempt to unscrew the head just sent Miss Schnorkel into a deeper sleep.

  Finally, when One-eyed Eileen’s hypnotic powers failed miserably, she ordered everyone out on deck.

  After all there were other teachers to torment.

  Some had taken shelter in their cabins.

  But there was no escape.

  4F had every porthole covered, and so, all teachers were tormented.

  Suddenly Miss Schnorkel woke from her slumber. She had an inkling 4F were misbehaving.

  Troubled Trevor and Scary Mary seemed a little over-excited.

  So Miss Schnorkel looked for advice in The Teacher’s Handbook.

  ‘Nip naughtiness in the bud,’ it said, ‘before it spreads.’

  One-eyed Eileen was about to make teachers walk the plank, when Miss Schnork
el stopped her with a special teacher stare.

  It was time for some organised games. Miss Schnorkel had her scorecard ready.

  CHAPTER 5

  TEAM

  SPIRIT

  Soon the deck was humming with activity. Surly Susan and Frowning Fran couldn’t wait to join in.

  With her clever quoits technique, Miss Schnorkel proved to be a great team player.

  She scored several direct hits, with help, of course, from High-headed Harry.

  Teachers and students discovered new qualities and special talents.

  Lovely Latitia found she was an excellent catch.

  And when Very-bad Betty and her timid sister Samantha lined up to do battle in badminton,

  Samantha came out of her shell and played without mercy.

  4F made up the rules as they went along, while Feral Beryl ignored the rules completely.

  Some teachers were a little anxious about joining in,

  and Shy Sidney stayed on the sidelines when Feral Beryl finally got into the swing of things.

  Nearly-normal Nancy wasn’t sure which side she was on,

  while others didn’t join in at all.

  Miss Schnorkel kept an eye on Surly Susan, who could turn nasty when neglected.

  Selfish Seymour had a lot to learn about the joys of sharing.

  ‘Pass it here,’ whispered Miss Schnorkel nicely.

  When it was time for the grand finale – a tug of war – the scores were even.

  Miss Schnorkel and One-eyed Eileen were perfectly matched

  until One-eyed Eileen’s evil glare made Miss Schnorkel lose her grip.

  One-eyed Eileen was victorious at last.

  But her win was short-lived and her tough-girl reputation was in tatters…again.

  The day’s lessons had been learnt. So Miss Schnorkel said her goodbyes and set sail back to school.

  The teachers were in a student-free zone once more.

  CHAPTER 6

  The

  RETURN

  For Miss Schnorkel the day had been a great success.

  She spoke to 4F about the importance of caring and sharing.

  Later, in Freak Headquarters, there was a vote of no-confidence in One-eyed Eileen. Never before had 4F been defeated by a teacher.

  But back at home that night, Miss Schnorkel didn’t feel like a winner. Her fake head was still stuck.

  She was tired of pretending.

  More than ever she wanted to be herself.

  What’s more, Miss Schnorkel had caught a very bad chill.

  Then, like a miracle…

  Miss Schnorkel – er, Miss Corker – was herself once more.

  In the morning 4F had a new teacher.

  Well, not exactly a new one...

  The End

  . . . but maybe not.

  Read all about 4F’s first

  adventure in 4F for Freaks.

  ‘This never-before-told story

  of grade 4F will change your life.’

  Dianne Dempsey, the Age

  Leigh Hobbs was born in Melbourne, grew up in Bairnsdale and has lived and worked in Sydney, Sale and London. He is an artist who works across a wide range of mediums, as well as writing and illustrating his children’s books.

  Leigh’s first arts-related job was at Sydney’s Luna Park where he created Larry and Lizzy Luna, now in the Powerhouse Museum. Leigh’s ceramic Flinders Street Station Teapot is in the National Gallery of Victoria. Many of his cartoons have appeared in the Melbourne Age newspaper. He is best known, though, for his children’s books featuring his characters Old Tom, Horrible Harriet and Fiona the Pig. Old Tom has been adapted into an extremely popular TV series.

  Ed Zaghini of Booktrusted News (UK) describes Leigh as ‘one of today’s best living children’s book illustrators’. Leigh has twice been shortlisted for the CBCA Picture Book of the Year Award (for Horrible Harriet and Old Tom’s Holiday) and his books have won every major Children’s Choice Award in Australia.

  Leigh Hobbs was an art teacher for twenty-five years. He wants it known that some of the characters and incidents in 4F for Freaks and Freaks Ahoy are fictitious.

 

 

  Leigh Hobbs, Freaks Ahoy!

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